BY CEARA PEREZ-MURPHY

His mouth tastes like the bottom of the glass

Day old

Johnny Walker Blue

His tongue is thick

Chewing tobacco

I don’t like it

but I want it

I want him to want it

He’s forceful

I don’t think I like it

I don’t think I want it

But I’ll take it

I want him

I want him to want me

His pupils are dilated

Tired eyes

He slurs now

But he charmed them earlier

I am enamored

He is an addict

Maybe he’s my drug

I am content cooking dinner

I hear my phone

See a number

No name - it’s him

I know it

The apology

This is a step

He needs it

I do too

I say I understand

I do

But I wanted him

Why didn’t he want me?

I wasn’t enough

Neither was he

He’s recovering

I am too

He seems surprised

to see me

I said I would come

he knew

His grasp is tight

He’s forceful

I like it

I missed it

We need this

He smiles

he’s there

He says my name and we both hear it

Clearly

We need this

He is human.

I am too.

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