A Letter to My Future Son
BY TAVA HOAG
I love you, but that doesn’t mean that you are perfect. There will be times when I am sure you will want to tell me exactly what you think of me, but you can’t because I am the woman who gave you life. Here I am writing you some advice long before I become a mother and before your innocence clouds my judgement.
Don’t be an Asshole. It’s pretty easy to let yourself become one, so fight like hell against it. Everyone has feelings even if you don’t feel them as deeply as others it doesn’t mean you have a right to be insensitive.
Be courageous. Now, when I say that I don’t mean to necessarily take a bullet for someone even though that takes balls. I mean be strong enough to stand up for what you believe in and for what is right. No matter who tries to pull you down rise above my sweet boy.
Love each woman you date like she’ll be your wife, even if that doesn’t end up happening. This will teach you how to open up your heart, let it be hurt, and then watch as it beats just as fiercely for the next girl you love.
Equality goes a long way. This is true in relationships, friendships, among colleagues, and life in general. Don’t be afraid to break down previously built walls. Also do the dishes or the laundry or cook if your wife needs you to and she will pick up the slack for you as well. Your life together should be full of teamwork. If you do this then you will be a happier man.
Try not to sweat the small stuff. Now, if you are anything like me then you’ll call my bullshit and get anxious over every little thing anyway. I’m here to tell you that it’s a waste of time. Turning in that paper early but sacrificing time with you grandmother or siblings isn’t going to make you more successful. It will make you miss out on some of the greatest moments of your life.
Reach for your dreams no matter how far or unlikely they seem. You’ll regret so many of your decisions if you don’t challenge yourself. I don’t want you looking back and wishing your life turned out differently so just go for it okay? Besides even if you fail, I’ll most likely be there to catch you.
Love me even when you hate me. I know it will be hard, but you can definitely do it. Also don’t treat me like the bad guy, I’m one of your best friends, the person who will always be on your side. I may be harsh at times, but it’s only to help you become the wonderful man you are meant to be.
Be nice to people, even the ones you don’t like, they will respect you more for it. Besides, life’s too short to waste your energy being mean. You’ll get nothing done and always be in a grumpy mood.
Admit you’re wrong. I promise it will save you a lot of arguments. Sometimes you’ll have to be the bigger person saying you’re wrong when you know you’re right. Even though this sucks, it will bring you more satisfaction in the end.
Finally, be the man I know you’ll become. Don’t let me, your father, your teachers, your friends, or anyone else tell you who you are. Only you can decide the person you will ultimately be. I’m always here for you no matter who that person ends up being.
Well, that’s all I have for now. I’m sure once I meet you I’ll want to add so much more to this list, or once you start dating, or when you are finally expecting your first child. I guess I figured anything I put on here now is stuff I truly mean and believe in my heart. So don’t question my list of ten, take it all in and know that since I’ll someday be your mother this is all something I’ll never let you forget.
P.S I didn’t put this in the list because it goes without saying, and I’ll constantly be reminding you of it as you grow up, but I want you to travel the world. Get out there and see as much as you can, because I guarantee this will change life as you know it in the most unimaginable ways. Okay, I’m done now. Can you tell I’m already one of those rambling mothers that doesn’t shut up?
Hugs and lots of kisses until you become embarrassed,
Your Future Mom.